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An Exploration of the Possibilites of Love
author: Yvonne Sinclair M.A., LMFT
It could be so wonderful, this rebirth, this rekindling of love and joy. IT could be a new beginning until the end, a true caring and connection like no other. More real than mother love, more deep than new lovers love, more intense than any other feeling.
Yes, ALIVE that is how two people feel when they care, truly care, about each other-alive. Every pore, every nerve, ever cell, vibrating with attention and validation. Could be. Could be. Could be?
Trouble is, it takes two people. Not just any two people, Two people “in love” with each other. “In love” meaning truly caring and full of love for the other. LOVE defined as respecting, caring about, putting the other first before any other person, thing, or event. Love- meaning listening and touching and conversing and sharing and joining and being separate and yet one. Love- meaning the emergence of JOY at the thought, or sight, or sound of the other. Love- meaning taking time to understand and opening of the mind and separating ones ego to understand the other. Putting aside self or ego to allow the others communication to BE. Allowing the differences and loving the balance they bring to the relationship.
And there in is the rub isn’t it? Finding, first, two people with the ability to truly love another. Maybe the ability is there but the emotional well being, or unwell being, disallows the function of love. Fear gets in the way. Fear of being betrayed, mocked, hurt, abandoned, fear. And one may sabotage the success of the relationship because of their own personal history, their own personal demons.
So my question is, is true love really possible. The pain I feel from realizing that true love may not happen for anyone, especially for me. Why-why? I feel the ability to truly love-have truly loved. There are moments in time when I believe I experienced that true love with another-moments. It seems to slip away covertly, dissipating like fog in the sunshine. Slips away.
You may feel it slipping or not becoming permanent, can you feel it. Perhaps your mind does not want to acknowledge and ignores the signs. Give the benefit of the doubt my little voice whispers, are you am good at that. Then one day-reality has to be seen. Reality, and still that little voice wants to give the benefit of the doubt. Until there is no denying the truth and hurt and pain and abandonment hit hard-again. One of us cannot stay in love. The demons of the past or insecurities of the present prevent staying.
Now, part of the pain and disbelief is how and why can Love not happen? Why does it become ugly and hurtful? Why when what two people have is so very beautiful, must one person hold back, sabotage, cling to fear? Why can you both not let the love take us to joy? Joy! How hard could that be to just allow it to happen, trust each other, care about each other, hold each other special and first and most important. How hard is that?
So, then you may wonder what to say and how and when. How to confront or not. How to keep as much of the door open as is healthy and yet be true to myself. How to not kill the chance the love can be true and the other will be able to continue to JOY with you and still a not betray yourself, again. HOW??
©Copyright 2012 by Yvonne Sinclair M.A., LMFT. All Rights Reserved. All material is owned and protected. Reproduction without the express written consent of the author is forbidden.